Workout Thoughts

So part of my anxiety problem means that I can have some pretty negative thoughts running through my head at any given moment.  I can imagine HORRIBLE future scenarios, and feel them in my mind and body and emotions as if they are real and happening right now, even though they are 100% in my imagination.  It's pretty awful and a great reason to never try to go off my meds ever again.  I can feel frozen, as if just getting up off the couch is an insurmountable task and as if nothing will ever be good again and I will never be happy.

 Long story short: Anxiety sucks.  It's a liar.  But it's something I have to accept and deal with bc my brain is broken, apparently.  So it is what it is.  

 But I noticed something today.  While I'm working out, those voices in my head that dream up awful scenarios get quiet.  My imagination tends toward happy things, fun things!  

 *I imagine myself as a contestant in a dance competition dancing with a partner to fun music.  
*I imagine myself in a gorgeous dress singing a song at my 50th birthday party.  
*I imagine dancing with Z and feeling so good about and proud of my body.  
*I imagine hiking in Hawaii again with my kids and having tons of energy and looking amazing.
*I imagine having FUN and enjoying my healthy, fit body!!!

 I need to remember this!  Endorphins flooding my brain during exercise is the best thing that has happened to my broken brain in several weeks.  I need to stay in the gym, and keep these good thoughts in my head.  

 I'm back on the wagon and I'm on fire!!!

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